fairymere (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} fairymere) wrote,@ 2008-06-02 11:00:00 |
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Blogging for LGBT Families Day
Recently I attended a “Celebration of Love and Family” at the SF LGBT Center on the evening after the California Supreme Court supported marriage equality and the right for all couples to get hitched. While listening to a line-up featuring politicos, lawyers and community leaders mark this historic occasion, I found myself getting misty eyed more than once. Perhaps, this isn’t surprising given that my tear ducts have known to be somewhat loose. But for me, being someone for whom my relationship to the institution of marriage and the focus of the LGBT movement on marriage equality is quite complicated, I was a little confused. Was I getting teary from joy? Or from something else.
As the daughter of a lesbian mother and a straight father, I truly believe that both of my parents and their relationships should be treated equally by the institutions of our society. As a member of the COLAGE/queerspawn movement, I recognize that whether I want there to be or not, there is something validating that comes with having a relationship honored by marriage. And that for many of the youth with whom I work, marriage has long been a concept they understand that sets their families apart since their parents can not access it. Ever since I heard a 9 year old COLAGEr, one of the spunkiest girls I have ever met, tell me that kids on the playground at school taunt her by saying, “Your family isn’t real. Your parents can get married,” I have recognized that marriage equality is important to my community.
However I also still resent that people who find love that falls into traditional couple hood have access to over a thousand rights- economic and otherwise. I believe that laws and policies that can truly protect families, whether they involved 1, 2, 3 or more adults committed to each other and/or to raising children should benefit from the rights and responsibilities that are now only accessed through marriage. As long as marriage remains the only true option for family protection and recognition in the United States, many families- straight and queer- will continue to fall through the cracks.
Furthermore, I get extremely angry when people declare that now that we have marriage equality in California that now “we are equal!” At the Center that night, just a few too many people celebrated about “how good equality feels.” But really? Marriage equality in California did not instantly mean we have all become equal. As individuals and as the LGBTQ community we still face homophobia, transphobia, racism, classism and a litany of other problems that manifest themselves through employment discrimination, the pathologization of transgender individuals, harassment of youth in their schools, and the treatment of LGBTQ prisoners just to name a few.
So while it’s important to celebrate that it feels good and just that while marriage is a mark of how we protect our families, that ALL families are able to access it, it’s also crucial we recognize that this does not mean we are equal. The struggle for true social justice remains a long road in front of us. But as a part of the COLAGE movement- a movement for social justice by and for children, youth and adults with LGBTQ parents, I feel engaged and committed to the struggle.
This post is a part of Blogging for LGBT Families Day. See Mombian for more information.
Recently I attended a “Celebration of Love and Family” at the SF LGBT Center on the evening after the California Supreme Court supported marriage equality and the right for all couples to get hitched. While listening to a line-up featuring politicos, lawyers and community leaders mark this historic occasion, I found myself getting misty eyed more than once. Perhaps, this isn’t surprising given that my tear ducts have known to be somewhat loose. But for me, being someone for whom my relationship to the institution of marriage and the focus of the LGBT movement on marriage equality is quite complicated, I was a little confused. Was I getting teary from joy? Or from something else.
As the daughter of a lesbian mother and a straight father, I truly believe that both of my parents and their relationships should be treated equally by the institutions of our society. As a member of the COLAGE/queerspawn movement, I recognize that whether I want there to be or not, there is something validating that comes with having a relationship honored by marriage. And that for many of the youth with whom I work, marriage has long been a concept they understand that sets their families apart since their parents can not access it. Ever since I heard a 9 year old COLAGEr, one of the spunkiest girls I have ever met, tell me that kids on the playground at school taunt her by saying, “Your family isn’t real. Your parents can get married,” I have recognized that marriage equality is important to my community.
However I also still resent that people who find love that falls into traditional couple hood have access to over a thousand rights- economic and otherwise. I believe that laws and policies that can truly protect families, whether they involved 1, 2, 3 or more adults committed to each other and/or to raising children should benefit from the rights and responsibilities that are now only accessed through marriage. As long as marriage remains the only true option for family protection and recognition in the United States, many families- straight and queer- will continue to fall through the cracks.
Furthermore, I get extremely angry when people declare that now that we have marriage equality in California that now “we are equal!” At the Center that night, just a few too many people celebrated about “how good equality feels.” But really? Marriage equality in California did not instantly mean we have all become equal. As individuals and as the LGBTQ community we still face homophobia, transphobia, racism, classism and a litany of other problems that manifest themselves through employment discrimination, the pathologization of transgender individuals, harassment of youth in their schools, and the treatment of LGBTQ prisoners just to name a few.
So while it’s important to celebrate that it feels good and just that while marriage is a mark of how we protect our families, that ALL families are able to access it, it’s also crucial we recognize that this does not mean we are equal. The struggle for true social justice remains a long road in front of us. But as a part of the COLAGE movement- a movement for social justice by and for children, youth and adults with LGBTQ parents, I feel engaged and committed to the struggle.
This post is a part of Blogging for LGBT Families Day. See Mombian for more information.
